Mother I'm home!
by heidlebergchick
Summary: Sirius Black returns to Grimmauld Place after fourteen years, and it's not what he expects... Written for the House Cup Competition and the International Wizarding School Championship for the Grammar School. Please enjoy!


**The House Cup**

**House: **Hufflepuff

**Year: **First Year

**Category:** Drabble

**Prompt:** [Event] - Somebody coming home after an extended time away.

**Word Count:** 910

**Title: **Mother...I'm home!

**Rating: **K

**Beta(s):** Gab, Aya

**Warnings: **Sirius may be a tough out of character, but I wrote him as if he was pulling a prank. He's not really taking anything seriously and his twisted sense of humour here, is probably reserved for his mother. Hope you all enjoy!

**International Wizarding School Championships**

**Grammar School**

**School: **Hogwarts

**Chosen Technique:** Dialogue Tags

**Word Count:** 910

**Year:** First Year

**Mother… I'm home!**

Sirius Black entered the foyer of Grimmauld Place and almost total darkness. He could smell the musk and dampness from the rotting building. Realising that it had been almost fourteen long years since he'd stepped foot inside this decrepit place, Sirius looked around in disgust. It was exactly how he remembered it from his childhood years and he could vividly recall his particular upbringing. The house held the same dark, clingy aura and Sirius couldn't believe he had nowhere else to go after having spent a year living in a cave. But at least the Fidelius Charm would keep him and Buckbeak hidden and safe.

Before Sirius could go any further than the foyer, he noticed he was no longer alone. An ancient house elf with severely aged and sagging skin, wearing nothing but a filthy loincloth, stood before him. Sirius' jaw dropped.

"_Kreacher_?" he asked in an incredulous tone. "You're _still _alive?"

The elf in question bowed low before straightening. As if the elf thought Sirius couldn't hear him, he began to mutter under his breath, "The eldest son of my mistress has returned, whatever would my poor mistress say if only she knew. The ungrateful mongrel that tore her heart from her chest, a _stain_ on the house of Black…has _returned._"

Sirius blinked down at the old elf, dumbfounded. Before he could say anything in reply, atrocious, hair-raising shrieking filled the hallway. Once again Sirius was floored; he only knew one person that could screech like that.

"_Mum?_" He rushed past Kreacher. "Mum? Where are you?" At the end of the hallway, he still could not see her and he turned back to Kreacher. "Kreacher, can you show where my mother is?"

When Kreacher shuffled over to him, Sirius looked up expectantly for the woman in question. When Kreacher simply pointed to his left, Sirius looked and jumped back in shock. There, in a life-sized portrait, was his mother—Walburga Black.

"_Mum?" _asked Sirius, in complete shock. "_You died?_" His face broke into a stupid grin as he took a moment to inspect the portrait, not paying the slightest attention to her howls. "It's so _lifelike_!" He scrutinized the portrait while stroking his chin. "They really captured your spirit and charm! I _particularly_ love how pale and unpleasant you look, Mother. That sour expression is perfect!"

If it was at all possible, Walburga's face turned ashen. Her eyes bulged as she screamed down at Sirius's broad, smiling face, "Yoooou're _scum_! Blood Traitor! Worthless! Unlike my Regulus!"

Sirius smile grew wider until he burst into laughter. "_Regulus_?" he howled with tears in his eyes. "That boy was an _idiot_!" Sirius puffed out his chest with pride, deciding to have a little fun. "_I_ am a _proper_ Black! It was _I_ that gave the Potters to the Dark Lord. I _slew_ Peter Pettigrew with _my own hand,_ and I slaughtered thirteen, _worthless_ Muggles for my amusement. It took a team of Aurors to bring me in so I could serve twelve long years in Azkaban prison!" Sirius finished dramatically.

The foyer was deathly silent as Sirius looked at the portrait of his mother dead in the eye. When Walburga tilted her head, Sirius couldn't believe it. She was looking down at him with a curious expression, something akin to respect and almost pride. Even Kreacher regarded his master with new appreciation. Sirius adopted a very serious and almost solemn expression and looked squarely at his mother. "There is one more thing… I am actually… _innocent!_"

'_As if I could ever betray James or Lily…'_

The silence shattered into a thousand pieces as Walburga erupted in an insane onslaught of abuse towards her eldest as the man in question bent over gasping for breath, he howled with laughter at the look on her face. When he finally managed to get his breath back, Sirius blinked at the portrait as it didn't sound as though she would shut up any time soon. Sirius mused and drew his replacement wand.

He cast a Silencing Charm at her to no avail. He frowned until he caught sight of something brilliant nearby. Looking back at his mother, Sirius feigned defeat causing the portrait to cease her screeching.

"Looks like you win, Mother." Walburga smiled down smugly at her eldest. "The Permanent Sticking Charm will ensure you will forever remain to haunt the unworthy souls that inhabit this house." Grabbing a set of moth eaten velvet curtains that Sirius _knew_ were his mother's favourite, he cast a few charms over them rapidly.

On either side of the portrait he hung one of the floor length pieces of fabric before Sirius leaned in closer to his mother. "Before I say goodnight, Mother, I just want you to know. I have some interesting new interior design ideas for your old master bedroom. You see, I have a pet Hippogriff and he needs a place to stay. Hope you don't mind?"

With that, Sirius waved at the picture of his horrified mother and flicked his wand. The curtains sprang shut and silence, once again, filled the hallway.

Kreacher looked up at the portrait as if he was about to start crying before he scurried off in a fit of anguish. Sirius' gaze followed the elf's progress and raised his eyebrows before his face broke into another grin. "Well I have to say, I never thought it would be this fun to come home… probably should have done this years ago…"


End file.
